Crappity

Well, the last post's "tomorrow" didn't go so well. Half and half, really. The sperm made it, but the ultrasound revealed a measly 2 follicles on one side and 4 on the other. I've had another ultrasound yesterday. More bad news. 4 follicles total, all around 8-9 mm. This isn't good, I'm only 29 and maxed out on the follistim. We expected more.

So the follistim isn't stimming my folls enough. The doc suggested having a blood test to check ovarian reserve; it may be that I have endometriosis without symptoms.

We're going to continue the cycle. At most 4 eggs can be retrieved. There's usually attrition at each step along the way, so maybe 3 will be mature, 2 will fertilize, and 1 will keep developing enough to transfer. If we're lucky.

We really don't want to increase the risk of a twin pregnancy. So I'm not sure what will happen if we're incredibly lucky and have 2 embryos. 3, we could freeze the other 2 and have a good shot at a FET. But that's extremely unlikely. Freezing 1... I'm not sure that's really done. It's too likely that the one embryo just wouldn't survive thawing... And we obviously don't have a good track record with that, although it was ML's embryos that time. 7 out of 9. Yikes.

But let's face it, we're probably not going to be lucky.

When/if this cycle doesn't work, we are done with IVF. We have no more funds and we do have the option of picking a new donor, so we can do cheaper IUIs.

I really wanted the kids to have the same donor. And once we made the decision to use my eggs, the idea grew on us that it was good they'd actually be full siblings.

But really it's not a huge deal, is it? It's ok. It'll be ok. The important words in the first sentence of that last paragraph are "I really wanted the kids..." full stop.